CHILD ABUSE

Nearly all mothers and fathers can point to incidents in which they fell short of their ideal as parents - perhaps a moment of frustration in which they believed they were somehow abusive to their youngsters when, in retrospect, they really hadn't been. Most parents will never actually be child abusers, and most children will never be abused.

By definition, child abuse includes a number of forms of severe maltreatment, including physical abuse, physical neglect, verbal abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse. Some unfortunate children experience multiple types of abuse. For instance, a child who experiences repeated instances of emotional abuse might also be victimized by occasional, deliberate physical violence. Severe physical abuse - even if only a rare outburst by overwhelmed parents with out-of-control anger - can inflict permanent damage on children and, in some cases, death.

Parental neglect - in which a child receives little or no supervision in and around his home, for example - can have tragic consequences if injuries occur. Even when it poses no immediate threat to a child's safety, prolonged or repeated neglect - in which his basic needs for clothing, nutrition, medical care, education, shelter and nurturance are not met - can have adverse physical, social, developmental and emotional consequences.

The number of cases of child abuse is on the rise, with reports of abuse to child-protection agencies increasing dramatically in recent years. According to one study there were three reports of child abuse for each 100 children in the United States in 1985 alone. With societal drug and alcohol problems so severe, and the number of children in poverty growing, the incidence of child abuse is likely to continue to rise.

Profile of an Abuser

Most abusers are members of the child's family - if not a parent, then a close relative (such as an uncle or an older brother or sister), or a member of the household. And a number of factors can contribute to their abuse of children. Pressures on the family, both internal and external, can take a toll. When parents are feeling financial strain, job stress or marital problems, their anger and frustration may make them more prone to strike out at their child. At certain times of the day - perhaps in the early evening after a hard day at work - parents may find it particularly difficult to control their tempers when youngsters misbehave or merely try their patience. Parents who are socially isolated, without adequate sources of emotional support or a helping hand with daily tasks and responsibilities, are more likely to lose control and abuse their children.

Alcohol and other drug use by parents is often a contributor to child abuse. By reducing inhibitions, alcohol consumption often allows anger to explode in a parent who is confronted by his or her child's misbehavior. Some drugs, such as amphetamines, can increase agitation and thus can contribute to an abusive situation in the home. Children who are abused are sometimes those with learning or behavioral problems - conditions that themselves place more stress on and create more conflict within the family.

Getting Involved in Child Abuse Prevention

If you suspect that a child you know is being abused - perhaps a niece or a nephew, a child in the neighborhood or a classmate of your youngster - you have a responsibility to become involved. Teachers are often the first to see the changes in a child's physical appearance, emotional condition, and behavior, changes that suggest she is being hurt or is in trouble. In many states, teachers (as well as physicians, dentists and other professionals) are legally obligated to report suspected cases of abuse - and for good reason: Every year, children die from abuse, often even after someone became aware that they were being victimized.

Once a case has been investigated by law enforcement and social agencies, local social service bureaus may institute various forms of services and treatment to help the family. However, the safety and protection of the child are the first priority, and thus children are sometimes removed from their family and placed in a foster home, at least temporarily; at the same time, efforts are made to work with the parents to address underlying problems and teach them coping skills to ensure that episodes of abuse are not repeated.

If you have abused your own child or feel that such behavior may occur, talk with a trusted individual such as a physician or a clergyman. He or she may refer you to a professional or an agency where you can obtain help, including assistance in dealing with your own fears and guilt. Both parents and children may benefit from some guidance and counseling, individually and together, perhaps at shelters for domestic violence that can help break the cycle. You will be guided toward dealing with your emotions without resorting to violence. You will have the opportunity to discuss your own parenting experiences and your current life stresses. You will be shown ways to cope effectively with stresses so that you do not fall into inflicting injuries upon your youngster. You have a responsibility to your child and to yourself to find ways to relate at home that are nonviolent, day after day.

If you feel that you are in the midst of a crisis, call your local chapter of Parents Anonymous or a crisis hotline, which can provide you with some prompt support. Thereafter, the more formal treatment process should begin.

Finally, you might also get involved to help reduce the incidence of child abuse in your community at large. You can become an advocate for a caring and respectful environment for all children. True, some segments of society still condone corporal punishment and even outwardly abusive behavior toward children - but this is wrong. You can work with local schools to eliminate physical punishment and to promote and teach constructive ways to deal with anger and conflict.