ANSWERING YOUR CHILD'S QUESTIONS ABOUT SEX — THE PRESCHOOL YEARS

The questions your child asks about sex and the answers that are appropriate to give will depend on your child's age and his ability to understand. Following are some of the issues your preschool-aged child may ask about and what he should know at each stage:

· "How did I get in your tummy?"

· "Where was I before I got in your tummy?"

· "How did I get out?"

· "Where do babies come from?"

· "How come girls don't have a penis?"

Your child will begin to learn about his own body. It is important to teach your child the proper names for body parts. Making up names for body parts may give the idea that there is something bad about the proper name. Also, teach your child which parts are private (parts covered by a bathing suit).

Your child may begin to show an interest in basic sexuality, both her own and that of the opposite sex. She may ask where babies come from. She may want to know why boys' and girls' bodies are different. She also may touch her own genitals and may even show an interest in the genitals of other children. These are not adult sexual activities, but signs of normal interest. However, your child needs to learn what is all right to do and what is not. Setting limits to exploration is really a family matter. You may decide to teach your child the following:

· Interest in genital organs is healthy and natural.

· Nudity and sexual play in public are not all right.

· No other person, including even close friends and relatives, may touch her "private parts." The exceptions are doctors and nurses during physical exams and her own parents when they are trying to find the cause of any pain in the genital area.

As your child approaches school-age, she should know the following:

· Proper names of body parts

· Functions of each

· Physical differences between boys and girls

As your child's sexual awareness continues to develop, your child may begin experimenting with masturbation. Masturbation is a part of childhood sexuality that many parents find difficult to discuss. Up to the age of 5 or 6, it is quite common. Around age 6, children become more socially aware and may feel embarrassed about touching themselves in public. Make sure your child understands that masturbation is a private activity, not a public one. Masturbation in private may continue and is normal.

There are times when frequent masturbation can point to a problem. It could be a sign that the child is under a lot of stress or not receiving enough attention at home. In rare cases, it could even be a tip-off to sexual abuse. Some sexually abused children become overly interested in their sexuality. If masturbation becomes a problem, talk to your pediatrician. For most children, masturbation is nothing to worry about. It is normal.