ANSWERING YOUR CHILD'S QUESTIONS ABOUT SEX — THE SCHOOL-AGE YEARS

The questions your school-age child asks and the answers that are appropriate to give will depend on your child's age and level of understanding. Following are some of the issues your school-age child may ask about and what he should know at each stage:

· "How old do girls have to be before they can have a baby?"

· "Why do boys get erections?"

· "What is a period?"

· "How do people have sexual intercourse?"

· "Why do some men like other men?"

Your child is learning much more about how people get along with each other. He may become interested in what takes place sexually between adults. His questions will become more complex as he tries to understand the connection between sexuality and making babies. He may come up with his own explanations about how the body works or where babies come from. He also may turn to his friends for answers.

It is important to help your child understand sexuality in a healthy way. Lessons and values he learns at this age will stay with him as an adult. It will encourage meaningful adult relationships later.

Your child probably already has developed a sense of right and wrong. She is able to understand that sex is something that happens between two people who love each other. She may begin to become interested in how mom and dad met and fell in love. As questions about romance, love and marriage arise, she also may ask about homosexual relationships. Use this time to discuss your family's thoughts about homosexuality. Explain that liking or loving someone does not depend on the person's gender and is different from liking someone sexually.

At this age, your child will be going through many changes that will prepare her for puberty. As she becomes more and more aware of her sexuality, it is important that you talk to her about delaying sexual intercourse until she is older. You should also talk about contraception and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), especially AIDS. Be sure she understands how these diseases can spread and how she can protect herself from them and from pregnancy. Teaching your child to be sexually responsible is one of the most important lessons in her life.

As your child approaches puberty, he should know about the following:

· The body parts related to sex and their functions

· How babies are conceived and born

· Puberty and how the body will change

· Menstruation (Both boys and girls can benefit from this information.)

· Sexual intercourse

· Birth control

· Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and how they are spread, including HIV and AIDS

· Masturbation

· Homosexuality

· Family and personal guidelines